Wednesday, November 9, 2011

One Way to Milan Part 2 "One Star Hotel"

Above me in all of it's shimmering glory was a sign which gleamed like the light at the end of tunnel.  

Hotel Italia.  One star.  And my only solution.

I walked into the dark, entrance and approached the receptionist sitting at his desk.  The reception area was small, unwelcoming and the atmosphere felt as though it needed some sort of an exorcism. 

"Quanto costa per una camera?"
"40 Euro."
"...sigh.  Avete internet?"
"Qui no."

I didn't care by this point.  I just needed to fall asleep.  I hesitantly grabbed my key and headed up to my room.  The hotel was extremely quiet and I wondered if I was was the only soul (besides the phantoms) who was staying the night.  I reached my room and noticed the width of the two doors.  Each door was maybe 2 1/2 feet in width with a height of maybe 6 feet.  Hmmm.  After using the key to unlock the door, (which took nearly 3 frustrating, sweaty minutes) I walked into quite possibly the smallest hotel room in all of Milan. 

After a slight pause to absorb what I'd gotten myself into...I just burst out laughing and squeezed my body and bag through the door jam.  Immediately to my right was my tiny single bed which evidently, blocked the other door from swinging open.

Dear god...what a dive.

I calculated the width of the room to be 7 feet wide and perhaps 11 feet in length.  At the end of the room was a sink and a long window er...oh, but it had a 10 foot ceiling and a brand new mini flat screen TV!  I dropped my heavy bag upon the bed and just sank my sorry ass into the hardened mattress and continued to laugh at my situation. 

Next, I wondered about the condition of the W.C. since I desperately needed to get out my wet clothes and into a hot shower.  I took a stroll down the hall to have a looksy.


Well, let's not talk about the toilet with no the plastic cover for your bum.  And please don't allow me to regale you about the slippery floor of urine. 

The only real high-light of the evening was the super old, military green phone which lived on the small light stand above the bed.  I'd never seen anything like it before and to pass the night away, I tried to take some award winning photos of this archaic monstrosity.

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